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Confessions of a Girl on a Diet

Ever met a girl who is not on a diet?
The answer to this is mostly a big fat (pun intended), No. Even the skinniest of us are always worried about gaining weight. We are forever jealous of that one person who has better metabolism than us. Sadly I don’t have that kind of a metabolism or for that matter self-control.
I am a girl who is always on diet or who is always talking about going on a diet or who has just left a diet in between! Third one most likely! Who can resist a Chocolate Belgian Shake anyway?!? That Diet was so not worth the effort; at the max I would have lost 1 kg; I am going to try a new one this time. So on and so forth.
Enough of Blabber! – There should be a research on if fat girls tend to talk more! I am sure they do!
I wanted to share a few of my personal favorites from this crazy journey. Smile if you find it funny; laugh if you want to make fun of me; come hug me if you have been this crazy yourself (and I know I will get a lot of the latter)

1. Girl Walking By – Is she fatter than me?

Not a day goes by when I see a new person at work/party etc. and ask my confidantes, ‘Am I fatter than her? At least my legs, aren’t. Tell, tell.’ Not that I will suddenly start working out more if my friend says yes, certainly NOT! It’s also not about that I will get some emotional comfort out of the fact that I am probably a millimeter slimmer than the girl I find slightly overweight. I just like to know because it soothes my soul. I simply like the fact that my friend is kind enough to tell a lie for comfort.

2. Sipping 6 cups of green tea and then the inevitable sin!

Every morning I wake up with resolve and determination to overcome my weight. I think it’s a cake walk. Why can’t I achieve it? I will start with sipping green tea today. At least 6 cups. And that in itself will cleanse my system and help lose at least 2 kgs! (Enough to fit into those cute little pink shorts from Clovia!) And above all I do it! I kill my taste buds and I sip 6 cups of green tea. Then comes the darkness of night and brings along brownie demons. How do you survive? How do you resist? And you take comfort in believing that with that much of green tea. You are probably allowed at least one teeny-weeny bite. And then! The world sinks! Demon is now inside me! My resolve is dead! I fall for this trap every day and even while writing this I know how tonight is going to end.

3. Low calorie alcohol

Why is this question not fair? I asked the bartender for a low calorie alcohol option and the table went crazy! Why? I want to have alcohol without the calories. Why do you all even sip on stupid zero calorie sodas then? I was simply asking for a suggestion. I love my alcohol above all and I want to have it (lots of it). Why did God not make a low calorie beer? By the way Vodka with Soda is the easiest solution provided you are not a beer junkie like me.

4. I talk about my slim days like it’s a war story

I was slim. Once. My father actually made a joke about hanging my picture outside our house to ward off possible thieves! Latter would have one look at my picture and their hearts would soon brim with sympathy for our impoverished family. In posterity, his logic does seem sound. Anyway, I digress. So yes, once upon a time I was slim and could fit into anything. Slimmer than the slimmest. Slimmer than that girl sitting there. I could fit into XS sized clothes. I could go on and on and on, on this one. And certainly it’s is a damn good story!

5. Money spent is directly proportional to weight loss (dreams)

Calorie Counter. Pedometer. Healthify! They work just by being installed on one’s phone. I will lose weight just by having them on my phone. Just like I lost weight by just paying for the gym. Similarly, I lost weight by registering for the season pass at society pool. It works like a wonder. At least I have the comfort of knowing I registered. What do you have?

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